Outbursts
by antimoony
Summary: Riza Hawkeye is known for being a very calm and collected person. Also, she would never hurt anyone without a really good reason. Then why everyone always seems scared with the idea of letting her mad? T for cursing, Royai, Team Mustang and Parental!RizaEd
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Oh yeah, this is big! Again, you guys feel free to correct anything that may be wrong, since English is not my mother language. If you have any ideas of outbursts, I would love to hear. These will be multiple one-shots and I hope you like it!

Chapter One – Office Outburst

Riza Hawkeye was in that desert office, working at late hours… again. It was Thursday, and she knew perfectly fine that she was one of the last condemned souls in Eastern Headquarters at this time. Now, she was facing not only her colleague's undid paperwork, but also an undeniable truth:

Her co-workers were a bunch of assholes.

As for the other boys in team, the fact that they were lazy didn't really surprise her. Most of them was immature, had them just graduated from Academy. They didn't know how tough life could be since, unlike her, they hadn't faced horrors of the war – and she was glad for them in this sense. Havoc was for sure the most childish one, but he was not much worse than the always grumpy Breda, or than the lost and insecure Falman. What did piss her off was the fact that they could be easily corrected if they had a superior office slightly interested at their success as a team. That, unfortunately, wasn't happening lately… because at some point after Ishval War, at some point after becoming a Lieutenant Colonel, the diligent boy who was once her father's apprentice had become the most bastard of them all.

She didn't know when that trigger was pulled, but Roy Mustang was really doing his best to be her personal hell and – she had to give him that - succeeding on this task. She knew all too well the idea of building Roy a lazy playboy persona in order to keep him unseen by the higher ranked officers, and at first she thought that grandfather had an amazing idea suggesting this. When they first started executing project "Keep Roy Mustang Away of Being Discovered as an Insubordinate and Democratic Rebel", Roy just wore his persona when he had the higher ups around, and managed to keep doing his job with a more than satisfactory rhythm. But, day by day, this said new persona was becoming intricate with his true personality, which was encouraging his other subordinates on having the same behavior.

And as the weeks passed by, she was carrying a burden that she shouldn't be carrying alone. At first she just accepted her overworked nights as a bad phase, for she knew how hard Roy was being with himself right after the war. Maybe he needed some time and space to cool himself down from the military life, after all. One day, although, she woke up and realized that they had being living the same routine for months: she would come early to work (as usual) just to encounter anyone else there. She had already give up on hoping some punctuality, and didn't even worried about something that maybe happened with one of them anymore: she already knew that they all would come by late, procrastinate all they could and leave early to get wasted at some unsanitary bar at least three times a week. To be perfect honestly, she didn't even know how they manage to keep alive and pay bills, since all they seemed to do was spend money in that damned bar. Anyway, she would be worried with their paperwork deadlines and do a big part of their jobs for them. If they get drunk enough, the following day they would work not only late, but with a hangover as well.

So, as she finished the first part of the remaining work, she realized how damn tired she was. And the list of bad feelings didn't just end up in "tired": she was also frustrated, feeling alone and with a messed up heart. Because, just to make her situation worst, the more tired she grew, the more her mind wandered to that forbidden thoughts about the Roy she knew and loved when she was young. He was nothing like that anymore, and didn't look concerned about her well-being at all. Well, it was not like she wanted him to be concerned about her in a personal way, she was a goddamn soldier for crying out loud. Just a little consideration was all she was asking here, come on.

Ok, maybe that was bullshit.

Even if she refused to (and couldn't) say it loud, it hurt her knowing that those frequents dates Roy has were not always information drops. More than once she felt the mixed scent of whisky and woman expensive perfume on him, and it hurt to know that was none of her business anymore. She was not a little girl and he was not her first secret boyfriend. They had choose their paths on military, set their goals, and – even if she secretly wanted him to - she didn't really expected him to be attached to those old promises he did before left her house to enter the academy. She also had her own life now… yet, to be perfectly honest, that never made it hurt any less and, as wrong as it may be, she never stopped to think about him. Which was fine, right? As long as anyone else knew it, it was ok for her to think about him. She was a professional soldier and a master in dealing with her feelings, she had her own persona and anyone would never figure her feelings out. Anyway, it was still bad that she kept those treasured memories and promises for so long, and now that trust and love was being replaced by frustration and deception. And that leads to the next item on the list: she knew she could overcome the way she felt about him, she could hide it. What she couldn't deal with was the fact that was something much more important than here feelings were being harmed: their goals for a better Amestris. The need to carry those corpses through the river of blood they made couldn't be harmed in this process. No, that was totally not going to happen… she would shoot him first, just like she promised to do.

But she didn't know what to do anymore. She already tried talking to him and the boys, of course, but her calm tone and collected demeanor made them not listen to her at all. They would always respond with some affirmative sentence, a dismissal hand, and that was it. She had to do something about this before she got insane, but if talking didn't resolve, what would?

Thinking about the whole mess she was living with, Riza decided not to finish their work this time. She allocated her string purse in her shoulder and organized the small stack of just-finished paperwork in her arm, ignoring the big stack that was unfinished and leaving the office desert for the first time in fourteen hours, and determined to put an end in this. Oh, yeah, tomorrow would be the day that she would either regain or completely lost her faith in her colleagues. 

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Mustang entered the office, unusually earlier than he always did, Hawkeye hadn't arrived yet. He lazily scanned around just to find a big stack of paperwork in his table, and deduced that she had already arrived and gathered the daily work, leaving right after to get them some coffee – that was the way she functioned, just like an alarm clock running over the numbers in that punctual way. But after taking his seat and when he got to take a closer look at the papers he realized that they were dated of the day before. The meaning of this was, of course, that Hawkeye hadn't finish them and neither arrived yet.

Frowning, he felt an acid wave of worry wash his stomach (or maybe was just that scotch from last night?). Hawkeye didn't just "get late to work", and even if she was going to, it wasn't like her not to let him know if she would have any trouble to get there in time. When all the team entered and she didn't, he knew he was really worried rather than just suffering a hangover. Mumbling his good mornings to the team, he decided to wait fifteen more minutes before calling her. And just when the time was almost over and he was ready to get up and call her, she entered the office accompanied by a guy he never saw before and carrying the daily paperwork in her arms.

He hated to admit, but the man was good looking, flashing smile, golden hair. Who was this asshole after all? Was she late because of him? When did she start to talk with this jerk and why didn't he know him yet? Roy pinpointed his eyes on the man's shoulder: the stars and stripes in his uniform informed that he was a first lieutenant. Oh he would discover who this bastard's superior office was and when he did…

He stood frozen, having no idea of what face he was actually making, as she saluted the man and waved him a good bye.

"Second Lieutenant Hawkeye reporting for duty, sorry for getting late today, sir."

"At ease, Second Lieutenant Hawkeye. Good morning."

Without another word, Hawkeye distributed the papers all over the desks and took her place, immediately starting to working on her own pile. He frowned, trying not to stare too much. At this point, Roy was used to torture himself thinking about her. Yes, so maybe he was a hell of a hypocrite, since he was used to drown himself in alcohol and women in order to forget everything he didn't like about his life. God, he did this stuff to forget even what he did like about his life: her. The only thing he didn't like about this only thing he did like in his life was that their two lives should be lived separated. Such a mess, right? When did his life get out the rails like that? It should be simple, they were supposed to get married and he was supposed to protect people with his alchemy, and they should be happy ever after like in those kinds of stories she loved to read when she was younger. But she rejected him back then, saying that she wanted to follow and protect him. Alchemy was a part of her as well, and she felt the urge to protect him while he was on his path. There were no convincing her otherwise, and one day he woke up in Ishval and there she was. There she was, big brown eyes of a killer, looking at him as he used her secrets to burn an entire civilization.

Fucking nightmare.

Then he woke up again and she was working under him. And that was good, but was really bad at the same time. He would protect her, she would protect him, they would try to reconstruct something they helped destroy and change the country for the next generations. But he woke up every day knowing that they couldn't be together. He was being chased by what he did to her, by what he did in Ishval, by what military was doing to his dreams. So he decided that get drunk and get laid were good ways to keep him distracted, since he didn't think he deserved such thing as love anymore.

Of course, he didn't forget the promises he made her. Even if he didn't think he deserved love, he couldn't help but feeling it for her. If he could, he would honor his promises, who knows? In a better future, maybe they could…

Oh, so many "maybes". Maybe she didn't want that anymore. Maybe she needed to get some release just like him, maybe she was thinking like him and ended up searching for something physical to compensate the fact that she couldn't have love. Maybe she didn't love him anymore. And these thoughts were driving him insane. And that was how Roy Mustang, Hero of Ishval, Lieutenant Colonel at the age of 25 years, passed by a Friday feeling jealous, frustrated, sad and pissed all at the same time. He tried his best to think Riza wasn't seeing anyone, after all, and failed.

Friday was almost over, and he still had a good amount of paperwork to be read and signed. Even if he wanted to do them (which he didn't), there were some bureaucracies he wasn't familiarized with, so he decided to let Hawkeye finish them. He would leave early to his information drop, pass by Madam's Palace and who knows what next? He could find a nice girl and distract himself a little, tomorrow would be Saturday anyway. He was getting ready to go when Hawkeye stood up and saluted.

"Permission to leave early, sir."

Uh-oh. What does she mean by that?

"Did you finish your paperwork, Second Lieutenant?"

"Yes, sir."

Yes, sir, of course, sir. She would never ask to leave earlier if she hadn't. Roy looked his own desk and his face dropped. If he wasn't mistaken, it was mandatory that all this paperwork were to be finished today. He sensed right away that anyone else in the office didn't know what to do either. Usually, Hawkeye supported them in finishing the work at time. What was she going to do in a Friday night, anyway? She was leaving on a date? Absolutely not, if he could help it. That's when he saw the "look at my pretty smile" guy approaching the office, and he lost it. Trying to keep his composed face, he gave her his answer without looking at her face.

"Permission denied, Second Lieutenant. We'll need a hand, here."

"Sir, I'm afraid I can't stay any longer today. I have something that I need to do."

Roy kept looking down for some time, knowing he wouldn't like to see her face now. Instead, he chose to direct his speech to the man standing at the door.

"Well, you can do whatever you need so badly after you help us. What's your name, First Lieutenant?"

"David Sherman, sir!", the man saluted.

"Well, Lieutenant Sherman, if you are waiting for the Second Lieutenant, I suggest you to leave. She won't be able to go out for a while."

Every one stood silent, shock printed in their faces.

"Was I clear, Lieutenant? Out. You are damaging my concentration."

The man got red as a tomato. He was obviously mad, but wisely chose not to say anything. He saluted and left, looking Hawkeye for one more time before. When Roy followed Sherman's eyes and looked at Hawkeye as well, he finally realized what he done. Well, it was too late to get back, and he wouldn't. He didn't really care anymore if he was being an ass, and hypocrite or whatever. She wasn't getting out with that man and that was it.

Then, his second realization was acknowledging that he wasn't alone with her. Havoc, Falman and Breda were looking him like he killed someone's puppy. Why, they must know his feelings towards Hawkeye, in which side were they? To break the uncomfortable silence, he started to think that maybe he should say something.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, I hope you understand. I can't let you leave early just to satisfy your needs. Whatever you are going to do, you can do it later. You'll stay here with us, finishing this before the deadline. Besides, if you had done them yesterday we coul-"

He stopped in his tracks as she glared him. Anyone who could see Hawkeye's face would swear to God that she was the flame alchemist herself, and that she was able to summon flames from her own eyes.

"What did you just said? Are you implying that this is my fault, sir?" she begun dangerously. 

"I haven't said that, Lieutenant. I'm just saying that we still have things to do."

It was like she was about to cry, yell and shoot at them… all at the same time, perhaps. One wouldn't think she was half as mad as she actually was, but Roy knew better. He had seen her so distressed little times in all these years together and realized that they were all going to pay for his attitude. She stood up and, finally, yelled.

"No! You are all going to listen to me. If you want to suspend me for insubordination, I don't give a fuck anymore, _sir_. You know what? I know that you all have little consideration for me, and I never asked you guys to like me, but this is getting ridiculous. Why do you do that? Is it because I am a woman? "

Everyone kept in silence, shocked and embarrassed. Roy thought that if she wasn't so mad and if he wasn't so screwed, he probably would laugh because instead of full grown man, it was looking like she was scolding a classroom. He wouldn't reprehend her for being insubordinate, she knew. In fact, he was scared as hell of what was coming.

"You guys don't see me as a human being, right? I have some news to break here: I am a human being. And I want to be happy. So why the fuck am I the only one in this fucking office that can't be happy?"

Everyone else looked at him and he got the message. "You did this, you make this right". Bunch of traitors.

"I AM TALKING TO YOU. Why am I the only one who can't be happy here?"

"I-I didn't know your job makes you unhap-"

She growled.

"My job does not make me unhappy, all of YOU make me unhappy! I do my job every day and I do YOUR job every day. Look, I know any of you see me as a human, as a woman, but like you or not, this is what I am! I have needs, I get tired, I am not a fucking machine. I like as much as you to get home, take a bath, sleep, eat, laugh just like any regular person. Do you know I have friends, I have people who care for me? Who wants to see me, talk to me? Do you know I have hobbies and things I would love to do more – not only shooting and signing papers? The thing is, you are taking those things from me. I tried hard as hell to talk to all of you, but you just don't listen! I damn want, just like you and your pretty girls, to have sex and feel beautiful and eventually drink my ass out, I damn want to see the little family I still have, to see my friends and to feel appreciated, to be a little happy. So why am I the only one here who doesn't deserve to be happy? I know I am not an example, I did horrible things, but I don't want to be miserable. I know I am not pretty, happy or carefree and I know damn well what you think of me. I'm not asking much of you, just don't make me more unhappy than I already am..."

He could see her angry face turn to a sad and ashamed one as she brought her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes, and Roy would never forgive himself for hurting her again. He never saw an outburst this big coming from her, so she should be really exhausted. He was a bastard as a friend, as a superior, as a human being, and she deserved so much more than what he was giving.

"You know… I am here because I want and because this is where I think I should be to make some things happen. I am here with a goal in my mind. If you don't want to be here, then I don't want to be here anymore, so you guys should find someone else to help you."

Anyone dared to say anything, but they were all thinking the same thing: she didn't know how wrong she was. How they actually liked her, admired her, and how bad they were feeling.

"If you want to punish me I will accept, sir. Just please, I must ask you all to leave now so I can finish these work before the deadline. I need some time to concentrate and you don't know how to do it, anyway. I have no time to teach you guys now, so if you are punishing me for my behavior it will be in your best interest to let me finish these paperwork before."

"Lieutenant I.."

"Leave now, sir. Please."

Roy got on his feet, visible stunned. He mentioned the door and walked through it, the rest of the men following him right after. He didn't look back as they walked towards Eastern HQ empty entrance, but could listen the guys chatting under their breath.

"Well, we did screw up…"

"Yeah… I mean, she is a really nice girl, I feel like shit for letting her down. She is really doing all by herself…"

"I feel like I broke my mom's heart, man…"

He turned on heels and spoke.

"We'll talk about this later. I'm sure you all noticed what have we been doing to the Second Lieutenant, and that office will pass through several changes starting Monday. I hope you know what Hawkeye means to me and how crucial she is… to us. I'll head back now, apologize to her and help with the paperwork. I am your superior officer, but I want you to know that Hawkeyes words are no lower than mine. In fact, we all know here that she knows what she is doing much more than I do myself. We'll respect that and treasure her help. If she asks, you do. I don't want her distressed the way she is ever again, and I'll do my best to ensure she won't. Do you understand?"

The answer came with smiles and a unison:

"Yes, sir!"

"Good. Have a nice night."

As Mustang turned his back, he missed his team smiling.

"I hope she doesn't kill him now, one day they'll make a hell of a couple." 

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

She was on her desk working and if one entered the office by now it was safe to say they would never guess what had happen there minutes ago. Roy approached slowly and she didn't speak, but he knew she was aware of his presence.

"Could you please stop working for some minutes? I need to talk to you…"

Riza looked him in the eyes and dropped her pen, her face betraying no emotions. She waited for him to say something.

"Okay. I'm so sorry. I hurt you again, right? I'm sorry I wasn't a better commanding officer, a better friend. I'm sorry you were doing all by yourself. I know I haven't been supporting you and I didn't want to push you through this… I hope you can forgive me. I don't want you to leave us. I'm speaking for the others too, they really like you and they're feeling really bad. I promise you I can do so much better. I am better…"

There it was, her gentle boy. He is better, she knows it.

"I'll talk to them and we'll all learn how to fill this stuff properly. I still have my goals. I still do, Second Lieutenant. Will you forgive me and continue to follow me?"

She smiled softly. She knew he meant it, he would never lie, and she just nodded in response.

Roy dragged one chair in front of her desk, sat dawn and shuffled around with the paperwork, searching for the ones he knew how to sign. There was still one thing he would like to clear in this conversation.

"And I'm sorry I ruined your date, by the way…"

"Date?"

"Yeah… with the flash smile guy."

She looked confused and then let a laugh escape her. Oh god, that beautiful laugh could kill him.

"He is Rebecca's new boyfriend… I was going to help him buy her a birthday present."

It was not the first time he was feeling an idiot today, but Roy Mustang laughed clumsly and thought he really needed to get a grip on himself.

"Oh... yeah, she always liked blondes, huh?"

The silence between them was not uncomfortable anymore and, from this day on, Riza Hawkeye never once again needed to yell with her co-workers. Not because they were afraid of her, but because they were afraid of not having her – or afraid of making her unhappy.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: woah, this took me so long. I'm sorry, I have no arguments to defend myself, even if my work is slowly absorbing my soul. Thanks for your follows/favorites and feel free to correct my grammar and give me suggestions! I'm trying to improve my English and if I'm succeeding, it's because of you 3 hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 2 – After Hughes

First Lieutenant Hawkeye was feeling uncomfortable in her outfit. It was not like she was feeling bad because of how she looked – and to be fair, she thought that she was really beautiful in that navy blue silky dress. But it was a kind of paranoia for her making sure that absolutely any part of her back was uncovered and, right now, she missed the safety of her turtleneck really bad. It wasn't a low cut dress at all, but still, what if someone sees a part of her back by accident? And that was the reason why she was in the restroom again, checking for the maybe sixth time that night, if there were any of her lower neck skin exposed enough for anyone to catch a glimpse of her secret. When she got satisfied with her completely covered tattoo, she turned herself and faced the mirror. Although she was pretty, it was safe to anyone assume she was really tired. It was a Saturday night, but their team had some extra work to do and couldn't get the day off, so they had little time to get themselves ready for the wedding. Fortunately, everything occurred just fine and, by the time of the church ceremony, everybody was already there – which was good, because everyone knew that if Roy didn't manage to be at his best man spot in time, they would never hear the end of it. After all, Hughes opting for having his marriage at East City (his hometown) was a great idea and made everything easier for everyone.

Maes Hughes marriage had being something else. He sure did his best to do an unforgettable party and every detail of the night was carefully planned and executed by some people that apparently did these wedding planning things for living. She didn't know how exactly how it works, but Gracia told her something like that. After the Church, all the attendants got in cabs and headed to a modest but beautiful saloon Maes had reserved for the party. She could have a good idea of how loved that couple were, since the place was crowded with his and Gracia's families and friends. Riza knew none of this people, and the military men and women were almost null there, their team and Major Armstrong being some of the exceptions. Even with a crowded party, Hughes and Gracia gave everyone attention, and the food and drinks were amazing. At some point, she was even forced to dance with Roy – obviously by Hughes himself - and just the thought had her cheeks burning. Yeah, it was a nice night and she was grateful for it. But now it was already midnight, and she was eager to get home and take those torture instruments Amestrian society claimed as "shoes" of her feet. So, with that in mind, she left the restroom to let the Colonel know she was leaving.

It was kind of an unspoken rule for their team by now: when they were together in a place, one always should know where the other members were. No big deal, just a habit but, when she returned to the table assigned to their team, Roy wasn't there. In fact, everyone else seemed a little odd, kind of frenetic, when she asked them about him. But she shrugged off her concerns; after all, they should be already experiencing the effects of alcohol by this time. So she sat down again in order to wait for his return and finally be able to leave the party.

After another drink and more than fifteen minutes later, she started to get restless and fidget. For the first time, she decided to scan the room with her infamous eyes of a hawk, ignoring the drunken babblings of her colleagues. And there she saw him, in a dark corner.

With a woman.

And a beautiful woman, for that matter. There he was, his handsome smiling face eating her alive. She felt her chest tightening and her heart stopped for a second. It was the first time she was seeing him with a girl, and it was not nice. For a second, she thought she would cry or something, but she decided to hold on to her persona and just leave immediately, before she couldn't do it anymore.

"Well, boys, last call has come and gone for me."

She just then realized that the men were all holding their breaths. So they weren't drunk, they were just worried about her… she felt some relief and gratitude, but got confused. What did they expect her to do, exactly? Have an outrage? They shouldn't even expect her to feel anything about this at all, was she so transparent about her feelings? No, thanks, she was not going to show them what she was feeling right now. She would face this situation just like a mature woman and cry her eyes out when she got home, lying on the floor in a fetus position. Not here, in Maes most important day.

"Do you want me to get a cab?" Havoc gently offered.

"No, thanks, Havoc. My house it's just some quarters from here."

"Hawkeye, it's raining out there."

"I know."

With that, she excused herself, went to say her goodbyes to Maes and Gracia, and left. Unbeknown to her, their team saw her leaving with worry.

"Man… I don't know, she seemed just fine. I thought it would be worst.", Fuery told, still slightly pale.

"You are wrong… I've never saw her so broken." Havoc answered, Breda nodding sadly by his side.

"Really? Do you think she will be ok?"

"Ah, of course. Our girl is strong, she'll handle it…"

* * *

He didn't know if he was saying this to assure Fuery or to assure himself, but even so, Havoc wanted to believe that was the truth.

"Where is she?", he slurred.

Truth be told, he wasn't fine. Maybe – just maybe – he had a little too much drinks. Then he got tipsy (ok, he got really drunk, are you happy?), she went to the restroom and he went right after her. Only God knows what for, but he was after her anyway. A blonde stopped him, they started talking and he didn't make sense of the world anymore. For a moment, he could swear it was her, he kissed her – finally! - called her name and got slapped. Why would Riza slap him when she agreed to make out? Was she insane? He looked at her and – surprise, motherfucker! – it wasn't Riza. Haha, well, yeah, it was not the first time that happened. It took sometime before he finally found their table so he could see her again, but she wasn't there anymore.

"Who is she, chief?"

"How many "she" do we have in our team?"

"Oh, that she. She went home, of course."

Roy frowned. Had she spoken to him before leaving and his drunken mind forgot it?

"When?"

"Well, something like half an hour ago."

Well, that makes sense since half an hour ago he was- HOLY SHIT. Had she seen it?

Apparently he told his thoughts escaped through his mouth, because Havoc answer him right after.

"Boss… who didn't see it?"

"Holy sh…"

His heart was beating so out of compass that he started to think he was going to die. He didn't know if he was still drunk anymore, adrenaline washing the remaining alcohol away of his being. He tried to get up, his legs betrayed him: he was still drunk. But he sure as hell would talk to her. What time was now, again? She lives nearby.

Roy said rushed goodbyes to everyone, and after some discussion with Havoc and Breda – who wanted to call him a cab, claiming Hawkeye would kill them if he got harmed – he fled the party, slightly stumbling across the streets, rain soaking his bones and slowly bringing his conscious back. 

* * *

After walking two quarters, he started to vaguely recognize his whereabouts: Riza's house was not far from where he was. Paying double attention at the numbers engraved on the doors, he finally stopped when he found the one he was looking for, taking a moment for gather enough guts so he could knock the door. He didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what the hell he was doing there since, as far as he knew, she could just had left the party without caring if he was or not with some random girl. Who had the stupid idea of coming at 2 a.m. after the woman you love-and-don't-know-if-she-loves-you-back? He did.

But he felt the need of saying something. So he knocked until the lights on her house turned on. And he waited.

She was finally on her bed. So she had walked in the rain, crying like a baby all the way home, took a quick shower and now everything was better already. Not like "this is the happiest day of my life", but maybe she just needed to cry a little – something she didn't do often. Ok, she was feeling like a drama queen of one of those corny books, running and crying in rain… how ridiculous, right? Now, she was just there, eyes closed, growing hair still wet. She had been growing it since they visited Reesembol something like six months ago,

 _"It suits you." ,_ he said. Only now, in the safety of her home, she answered out loud:

"Oh why, thank you, sir. Thank you very much."

And when she was just about to lose her battle to exhaustion, she heard a knock.

Definitely it wasn't her day. Who in the world? Maybe something happened in the party? What if leaving was a really bad idea? She shouldn't left Roy alone in his drunken state, what if he got attacked? She would die if something happened to him only because of her broken hearted woman crisis.

Standing up immediately, she run towards the door, gun ready in her hand, and looked through the peephole. And it was him, alive, soaked and grinning like and asshole. She gathered her patience and tried hard not to scream, opening the door with a killing glare.

"Hello, Hawkeye! What a lovely night isn't it?"

Oh, God, really?

"What in the hell are you doing here, sir?"

"Oh, right, I'm… may I come in?"

Her patience was running empty like never before. He was soaked, it was raining hard and, even if she wanted badly to send him home, it could be really dangerous. Wordless, she stepped away, giving him space to enter her home. Slamming the door behind her, she turned to him with a questioning look, still full of anger only he would be able to identify.

He just looked at her like he was being scolded, childish face almost pouting.

"Why did you left the party, Hawkeye?"

"Are you kidding me sir? Do you know what time is it right now? Normal people need to rest, with all due respect."

"I'm sorry for that, yeah…"

She finally noticed he was shuddering and got him some towels and spare clothes she kept by accident from their last travel.

"It is clean. Go to the bathroom and change, Colonel."

It was really fun that she was the one giving the orders, but he knew better than to make jokes right now. As he entered the bathroom, she started making some tea and toasts. He would need it, but she was feeling really stupid for giving a damn about it. By the time he left the bathroom, everything was ready and she pushed him the steaming cup as he eased himself into one of the two chairs available in her tiny kitchen.

"Thanks, Hawkeye…"

She didn't answer. She didn't have the strength to. She just sat on the other chair and waited for whatever he had to say.

"So… Hawkeye… why did you left?"

"Are you so drunk that it affected you memory, sir? I already told you it was late."

"Yeah, but I mean, you didn't even said me goodbye…"

Oh my God, how could he…

"Apparently, you weren't available when I tried to, sir.", she answered flatly.

"But you could have waited, right? You always wait… did you got mad because I was with a woman?"

She felt the last drop of patience turn into dry dust. Slamming her cup on the table and standing up, she walked away towards the other side of the small kitchen (safe enough so she wouldn't reach in case she decided to strangle him). She slowly gathered all the air her lungs could afford to store, ignoring his startled face, and unleashed her fury, tripping in her own words.

"You got to be fucking kidding me, right? You come to my house, two in the fucking morning, drunk, IN THE RAIN, you didn't even had the decency of getting into a cab, you could have been attacked, hit by a car, don't you think about me for even a second at all? You woke me up and I'm really tired and you WOKE ME UP to ask how I feel about you being with a woman? **ARE YOU A COMPLETE IDIOT**?"

He winced and looked down, still surprised with the yelling. It was easy to forget that Riza Hawkeye could yell.

"Yeah, I'm an idiot…"

"Yes, you are! You can really be with any, absolutely ANY, woman in this whole country, I couldn't really care less, do whatever you want, honestly."

Oh, she almost believed herself, such a good liar. After some seconds in complete silence, his response finally came in a whisper.

"You."

"What?"

"You. I want to be with you. You are a woman of this country, and you said absolutely any woman, and I thought that lady was you and she slapped me when I said your name – look, it's even still red – and I want to be with you."

She expected anything but this. Now she wasn't dealing just with pure jealousy and anger, she was also surprised, happy, but extremely sad.

"Don't you dare, sir. First of all, you are drunk, you don't even know what you are talking. Don't say this kind of thing without meaning it. Second, you know damn well why this is not a possibility."

"I'm almost sober, but if you want me to come here in the morning and say it again so you'll believe me, I'll do it. And again. And again. If you want me to say every day for the rest of my life that I want to be with you, I'll do it."

She stood frozen. Anger, happiness, sadness.

"You know why this is not a possibility."

"You want it too?"

"This. Is. Not. A possibility. Sir. We can't jeopardize everything."

"You want it?", Roy was getting exasperated. He hated when his questions were left without answers.

"Sir!"

"It's a simple question."

"What's wrong with you toda-"

"Answer it!"

Later on, Riza decided that she wasn't as good dealing with pressure as she thought she was.

" **FINE**! YES! Are you happy? Yes!"

"Fine! Yes, I am, thank you!"

"Yes, so what are you going to do about it now?"

"I'm gonna kiss you, what else?"

"You know what? Fine! Do whatever you want."

Roy stood up a little too fast, using his hands on the table as support, and walked in her direction with a grumpy face. It was just some meters, but he felt like walking for kilometers until he could reach her. Pulling her close, his face instantly softened, and he kissed her gently – like their weird argument had never happened.

They both knew they would have to talk about this in the morning. But, so far, this was the greatest bad idea they've ever had.


End file.
